As a woman, it can be extremely harrowing to do any number of regular daily activities simply because there is a risk that one could be harassed or assaulted. While some men may worry about the women in their lives, many will never truly understand the fear many women experience even while in public.
With modern women becoming more vocal about their experiences as a way of showing men that their offensive actions will not be tolerated, it’s not uncommon to hear about individual women taking to social media to share what has happened to them. Additionally, more women are reporting these crimes to local police and finding support from the online community as a way to encourage them to get the help they need, if necessary.
One such woman who engaged with followers on social media was Nathalie Gordon, who was recently on a bus in Britain and was appalled with not only the man that harassed her but also the male bus driver’s reaction to her reporting the issue. She took to Twitter to express her outrage at the incident, and to raise awareness about what it is that both men and women deserve as human beings in this world. Read through her story below.
Let me tell you a story about why men will never understand what it's like to be female.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I was just on the bus on my way to a meeting. A man taps on my knee. I'm listening to music so take my ear phones out.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
He asks me where the bus is going. I tell him what the next station is. He asks me where I'm going.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I'm polite and tell him I'm going to a meeting. He then asks if I want to go for a drink.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
In that moment I instantly became worried. Again I am polite and say 'no thank you'. I go to put my earphones back in.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
The fact that any man would rip something out of someone’s hand and tell them not to be rude is not only hypocritical but indicative of more violent behavior. Imagine what would have happened if he had ripped headphones out of another man’s hands?
He pulls them from my hand and says 'don't be rude'. I say 'Sorry'. I don't know what to do, I don't want to provoke him.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I look out the window but out the corner of my eye I see he is staring at me and has started to rub his crotch.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I'm horrified and turn to ask him to stop doing it. He laughs at me. I get up and go to the bus driver.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I tell him that a man is rubbing himself on the bus. The driver, a man, says 'he probably isn't- sit somewhere else'.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I say 'the man just asked me for a drink and when I said no started to rub himself'. The driver says, 'what do you expect me to do?'
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I say 'remove him from the bus, call the police- I don't care'. The driver then says to me, 'you're a pretty girl, what do you expect?'
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
The lack of care or respect shown by the bus driver shows that he is not equipped to handle such situations and should either undergo training or be removed from his job.
You know what I expect, fucking respect for women no matter who they are or what they look like or what they're wearing.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
What I expect is to live in a world where it doesn't matter what I look like- when I fucking say no, I fucking mean no.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
What I expect is to stop feeling so alone and scared. No man will know what this feels like which is why so many will choose not to care.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
What I expect is fucking respect for anyone who feels vulnerable, for people who say no, for anyone who asks for help.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
What I expect is for men to stop thinking every woman on the planet owes them something.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
What Nathalie didn’t expect is for her story to go viral or to be at the center of such an outpouring of support—with a bit of negativity mixed in—following her explosion of tweets. Nathalie informed her followers that she wound up filing a report with the British Transit Police and that they appeared to be taking her case very seriously. When speaking with Bustle about any advice she has for others witnessing similar situations unfold, she said,
“Don’t ignore it. Find help. Be the help. Make a noise. Shout. Scream. Go sit with the vulnerable person. Embarrass the perpetrator. Call the police.”
Gordon clarified that this may not always be possible because each situation varies, but she reminded others that sometimes just acknowledgement by a bystander that there is something inappropriate occurring could shift the dynamic greatly.
