18 Things You Can Do Right Now To Become a Loving, Positive Person
We live in denial of our inherent negativity for the most part, and often wonder why the world around is so mean and reckless. Unlike dogs we may not be born eternal optimists, but positivity is something that can be imbibed even if a tad forcibly; such as by trying to tweak our sense of humour, the way we react to a given situation, by being more pleasant and believing others too have a mind, and by smiling each time somebody says ‘thank you’. While positivity is a state of mind, the answer lies in our perspective. Here are 18 things you can do right now to becoming a more loving and positive person.
It’s one thing to wax eloquent on positivity, but quite another to be a positive person at heart. Despite believing to have a positive outlook, we invariably weigh the cons first. What’s more, we prefer needless sarcasm for humour, manage a wry smile when something is genuinely funny, and believe deep down that the glass is actually half empty.
18 Things To You Can Do To Change Your Outlook:
1. Have the desire: To become a positive person one must have a strong desire to be positive. And the desire will come only if you are convinced that becoming a positive person will enhance the quality of life. Positivity is like an aura, and you know you are a positive person when people start trusting you, random people become polite with you, colleagues at work respect your positive outlook and you start building rapport easily.
2. Believe in all possibilities: About what you can or cannot do. About what is possible or impossible. Don’t allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly! Once you realize all is possible, the doors of limitation that were closed in your mind will open be connected to all those aspects of consciousness.
3. Be realistic: Do not try to become a saint. Becoming a positive person does not mean you can never have any negative emotion or encounter any negative situation. It is the overall attitude that matters and your reaction to every experience. Don’t get bogged down by failure, and disappointed when your expectations are not met. Understand that everything is of service to you. All experiences are neutral and our perception is what creates our positive or negative outlook.
4. Experience empowerment rather than criticism: Give up your constant need to complain and criticize about those things — people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. When you criticize, you are passing self-judgement for something lacking in your life that you refuse to let go of. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. For every opportunity you feel the inclination to criticize, try to think about how that specific situation is serving or benefiting others.
5. Experiment: Be a keen observer. Use everyday life incidents to see how you can manage them in a more positive manner. These will serve as perfect instances to turn your outlook more positive. For starters, contemplate how you could have better handled a situation by being less hostile and more indulgent. Come up with five ways that could have saved the day, and learn to take things at face value sometimes. Remember, your ability to trust the other person also reflects your genuineness.
6. Accept responsibility: Guilt is a trick of the mind. Accept responsibility for yourself, your life and your actions. You are response-able. You are an adult. You are account-able, meaning, with every action you take, you account for it. You chose to do it; you must accept the consequences of it and you did it all for a reason…to learn. If you continue to feel guilty, you stop learning.
7. Speech and body language: Try and make positive words a part of your daily lingo, and work on your body language in way that you come across as friendly and approachable. Look amused when something is amusing, laugh when something is funny, congratulate when credit is due, and give others a chance to narrate their side of the story. Never think you are the only interesting, knowing one around.
8. Be yourself: You are unique. Enjoy your uniqueness. Nobody in the world is just like you. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. The moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Company: One way to becoming positive is to seek positive company as both positivity and negativity are infectious. If the people you spend most of your time with are grumpy or have a pessimistic standpoint, you’ll find yourself inadvertently mirroring the same emotions with others. In order to inculcate positivity it is imperative that your friend circle is a positive, energetic, and a happy bunch. You’ll find yourself carrying the same positivity everywhere you go.
10. Think here and now: The past and future often set us on a path of emotional turmoil. We often assume the past looked so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for — the past that you are now dreaming about — was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
11. Activities: Do not remain idle and brood. Take up positive activities with others or in isolation. Share a joke, narrate a pleasant incident, take part in sporting activities, go for a run in the evening after work, have healthy sex, and you’ll find yourself bubbling with positive energy.
12. Take it easy: Everyday life is bound to give you shocks. Be prepared to minimise impact and shrug it off. For instance, you may get too hassled everyday while driving to work or trying to park your car. When you accept the fact that certain things cannot be changed, you’ll be more at ease with yourself and those around too.
13. Drop your expectations: Let go of any expectations of yourself that will limit your growth. If you hold high expectations for how others should behave, you will often be disappointed if they do not represent themselves in the manner you expected. It is only your expectations of people that cause you to judge them which ultimately is a judgement of yourself. Far too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They often forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need. You have one life — this one right now — you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
14. Maintain a diary: Instead of recounting all events of the day, filter out only the positive ones and make a note of them. It could be anything trivial from your bus arriving on time, your mom cooking a delicious breakfast, to remembering to pay the bills on time. When we look for positivity in the little things that make our lives worthwhile, we leave no room for negativity. Try consciously practising this for 10 days, and at the end of day ten when you read your diary back you’ll only have memories of all the good things that happened to you.
15. Meditate: Not only does it secrete happy hormones but also creates a sense of awareness within you. You will learn to control your breathing, and by way of it, control your mind from wandering. Every time you meditate, you feel a surge of positive energy through your body that calms your nerves, soothes your mind, elevates your mood, and not to mention enhances your level of tolerance.
16. Embrace change: Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change — don’t resist it.
17. Re-invent your need to be right: There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong — wanting to always be right — even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. We love to right-fight. It’s just not worth it because the state of being right is all subjective with so many layers and perspectives of truth. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” ~ Wayne Dyer.
18. Say ‘thank you’: Thank god, thank your parents, friends, and thank yourself for all the hard work you did, for everything you achieved. Saying thank you frequently makes you humble, and a humble person is seldom cynical.
Josh Richardson is blogger, healer, and a constant pursuer of the natural state of human consciousness.
Sources :
68 Responses to 18 Things You Can Do Right Now To Become a Loving, Positive Person
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Just wow..
It’s embrace me deep.
thanks for the advices
Good one
they should teach that in high school.
thank you for such a well written positive message
18 ways in 18 days , I will try from Jan 1st !:)
It was overall a pretty nice and good article… Until the very last point where you segregate yourself as a religious person. Way to ruin a nice article.
Agreed!
I think he/she is simply giving examples of who/what you can thank, as opposed to a strict list. I feel the writer is getting at the positive attributes of thanking, for people. Even if that includes religious ones.
Way to miss the point of the entire article.
How is ‘thanking God’ religious? Spiritual, yes, but not religious. And, wow, that statement is the very cynical response the article is encouraging folks to rid themselves of! *sigh*
People in general need to get over negativity to religion. For the vast number of people in this world believe in God and God is part of their daily life. Not believing in God is ok too. Be open to others beliefs as long as no one becomes fanatical everyone will be fine.
I believe his intent was not of a religious nature, merely giving examples others may relate too…..Just the way i perceived it,.. could be wrong…. peace
…and the author used ‘god’ rather than ‘God’, probably intentionally (doesn’t strike me as a careless writer), which I took as an open invitation to the reader to thank whoever ‘god’ is to them. But obviously hit a raw nerve with you.
I am god and so are you.
And that is why you should learn from this article. Way to pick out the one bad thing in your mind and display it. I want to thank you for letting me see the light
Why do you think he is religious? Because he mentions God? The problem is that perhaps YOU are religious! God can be everything that you want it to be. Nature, the universe, some invisible power which ‘deals the cards’, your higher self; just think of God as you want God to be. He didn’t necessarily mean ‘that guy with the beard in the sky’. If you think of God in that image, it may be that you are the religious person
Well put Greg, Rachel and Mark to name a few!
AGREE
So it is only possible or desirable for you to be loving and positive towards atheists, and anyone who has a spirituality “ruins” things, if they dare to actually mention it. It seems that you are the person with the desire to “segregate” the author. You couldn’t have agreed very much with the other points either. You might find it easier to be positive if you weren’t busy being a bigot instead.
Overall, very good stuff. Being always right has risk; simply…..what if I’m wrong!!!!! Albeit, change is a constant and good; it still can wear us out and have impact. Thanks for the share and aloha
love this reminder…thank you thank you thank you!!!!
I agree with you Stella. That little part stood out to me as well. I’m a very positive and happy atheist. Overall, a great article outside of that. I’ve seen it done on Purpose Fairy without the religious undertones. I enjoyed it.
Oh please…get over it! One little word and people like you freak out…Jees, don’t take it so personal…some people believe in God, and some don’t. It’s people like you that stir the pot. If you don’t believe, then don’t pay any attention to it. That’s your right to not believe, same as it’s others rights to believe…..
How about positive and happy people who aren’t atheists? She didn’t say anything about you, she didn’t say anything about any “one true God”s she didn’t even CAPITALIZE “god.” How is that “religious?” Are “positive” people not allowed to have a spirituality in your world? Or only if they keep it secret?
“Religious undertones?” There was one mention of “god” at the very end.
hypersensitive agnostics lol
Exactly the type of negative reaction to things that the article tries to address. Don’t let things push your buttons … Accept that other people may not have the same views as you and don’t always criticize and judge. Obviously hit a big nerve
Yes, some people are so quick to bash one ingredient instead of tasting the entire wonderful meal. People who do not believe are always wanting to silence the opinions of those who do believe, yet they think it is completely acceptable for the tables to be turned and for them to spout their opinions and no one is allowed to say anything. To each their own. Live and let live. Whether you believe in God as “the man with the beard” or as something else completely – a higher power, if you will – it wasn’t meant with religious undertones. Hypocritical ignorance.
Flame less and just enjoy the article. You don’t need to analyze every little thing
Just my opinion. Overall, I enjoyed the read.
I am an agnostic homosexual. I have nothing against those who are religious until it is abused for personal agendas/vendettas. Unfortunately, I have experienced such situations in my life even from my own family. The reason I bring this up is because when someone has experienced such negativity from religious individuals pertaining to religion, well, it can leave an overall bad taste on your tongue if you don’t put things into perspective. Despite my “negative” experiences, I realize that not all religious people use religion to condemn and judge others. In fact, I have many religious friends that never even speak a word about their religion out of respect for diversity and understanding that not everyone follows the same path.
Nonetheless, I believe constructive phrasing would have been helpful in the last tip (18)
It’s important to remain neutral if you wish to reach a broader audience
Reading it as it is does somewhat imply there is a god to be thankful to and can potentially promote feelings of exclusion for anyone else
Maybe:
give thanks to god if you are religious
The word ‘god’ can mean many things to many different people, I am not religious, but took it to mean my own personal interpretation of the spiritual meaning of god in my life. The word god does not specifically refer to religion, there was nothing wrong with the phrasing of that article, but only in how you perceived it .
And yes, it is the individuals responsibility to process negative emotions that arise in healthy and positive ways such as when dealing with feelings of exclusion and it is most likely that the writer did in fact randomly list things the majority of people can relate to, HOWEVER, it does not hurt us to be more considerate of the diversity among humanity and to show acknowledgment of and respect to that fact.
I almost forgot to mention that I really love this article. I’ve forwarded it to numerous people already! Thank you sincerely for writing this!
Tobes, I see where you’re coming from and I’m sorry that you had an unfortunate experience and it’s nice that you try not to judge when people are religious. So I just wanted to say that I think he meant god on a broader scale than some people took it, you can thank the universe and nature or people you look up to for example. I think he was just reminding us to be grateful. You mentioned “it does not hurt us to be more considerate of the diversity among humanity and to show acknowledgment of and respect to that fact.” Fair enough, though, you see I believe that’s exactly what he was doing when he mentioned god because it means something positive to so many people globally. He had every intention of being considerate and wanted to include things that he was sure many would connect with. If he hadn’t have mentioned it, would someone who is a follower of god have complained. I agree that everyone should be respectful of one another’s opinions, however, he was not disrespectful, he was mentioning something to include everyone and I think that if people were to get offended if you revealed you believed in god then it is a little bit upsetting, if everyone thought like this we would not be able to express ourselves.
thank you
hi, i liked the article and i read the coments to find more .. wisdom. and yes i did, thanks everyone for it. btw, is it so important one word to talk so much about it ? who cares if the writer is a believer or not ?
Over- all and through and through absolutely full of positive and mindful reminders of the most open and most fullfilling to believe about others and also by portraying a healthy self image , many and all suggestions on how to view oneself in a healthy manner ( view oneself in a good light ) look for the good in others and accept their faults , remain drawn to the healthy people and learn to be tolerant to the less fortunate , may it have be at a distance if neccessary ~~~~
I’m already a positive dude plus a funny one so Im gonna live long rite
Actually, no. Scientific studies have shown no correlation with “positive mentality” or “positive outlook” and increased longevity. You’ll die right on time either way, but the author suggests you will enjoy the trip more. They really should just change the title to: How to Brainwash yourself”.
Great article, I have definitely found in the past that letting go of expectations is difficult but seems to be the root of most let downs so it helps if you can do it. And keeping a wee gratitude diary of three things a day that made me smile helps me see that even when I feel horrid, there are positive things to notice if you choose to look for them. Also love the word inculculate!! Was talking to a friend about the idea that every experience is neutral and it’s only thinking that makes it negative or positive- but there are some things that are just awful and you can’t apply positive thought to deny that they are tragic? And to do so can deny acknowledging the pain that you are trying to heal from? What do people reckon?
Hi Radiant, answering your question. At some point in our lives we all get hurt somehow, it’s part of life, the difference is what you do with the painful experience from the past. You can either carry around all those negative energies with you like a heavy burden weighing you down all the time or you can acknowledge it/confront it. Consider what you can learn from it and let go. In doing these things you are bringing positivity to your life by releasing the negativity and leaving space for the good things, the fact that you let go of an experience like this also deserves a pat on the back. You were strong and moved on which means that you will find it easier to free yourself, positive emotions are like antibodies.
Loved it!
I’m in a 12step program where some of the most important content, is to embrace spiritual principles such as: Love, faith, openmindedness, honersty, willingness and of course: moving from being ‘self-centered’ to being ‘god-centered’!
I’ve been an atheist all my life, and i’m still an atheist. – However: ‘Theism’ means wotrthshipping a specific God, and ‘A-theism’ means not believing a SPECIFIC God. In other words; being an atheist does not ruel out the idea of a God or spirituallity!
In the history of mankind, as we all know, there hasent been no greater incitement to war and cruelty, than different concepts of God!! Therefore, we shouldnt focus on the
word ‘God’ in the article, as a hidden agenda to change anyones believes, but practisising (plz excuse my spelling, because im from Denmark) greatfullness and openmindness, just as in the 12step program (using ‘God’AS I UNDERSTOOD HIM)
This bring me to my point!
My good friend, dr. “T”, is from India and very religious, once told me:
“There can be only one God!, but he’s got allot of different telephone-lines!
(This was 25 ys ago, so maybe he would apply some e-mail adresses as well)
Actually we most often use the words: “Higher power” in our 12-step litterature.
Why do you have to excuse yourself for using God?
Thank you!
For the love of God just be! And be peacefully!
I’M ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT “I SAY”
NOT FOR WHAT “YOU” UNDERSTAND !!!!
Eureka, I found the answer! hehe
Very nice article, but the thing that really verifies what you’ve written are the comments. We are all thankful and happy
~A guy in holland
I wish you textbook positive thinkers would stop with this “nothing can hurt you, anger you or upset you unless you allow it to.” This is self-talk nonsense. We’re not machines, we’re human. We are going to be hurt, angry and upset by things; the key is to feel it, deal with it, and move on. Not deny it.
I think you’re both right in a way.. don’t deny it, but also don’t cling to it.
We have the ability to choose whether to let something affect us for a minute, a day, or hang onto it for a year or longer.
And I believe that we can also choose how we are going to react to situations, allowing us greater control over our feelings and selves. But to blame the cause of your own personal feelings on someone/something else is to relinquish your control over yourself.
Not only that, but I almost felt like they were implying that we can just snap our fingers and fix ourselves, when for some, mental illness such as depression *is* reality. I know very positive people who, when struck by a catastrophic or life changing event, sunk to the lowest of lows from depression. Eventually they climbed out, but it wasn’t an easy thing; and I can say from experience, once you have been in the battle with depression and rise above it, life takes on a whole new meaning. Positivity (not the fake sickeningly sweet Pollyanna type, but real life struggling to find the silver lining) can really make a difference, but there are times when it’s just too much.
As someone with depression, I’ve found the whole “positivity” movement to be largely about shaming people like me, telling us we’re “bad” (or lazy, “unenlightened” whatever) because we should be able to choose how we feel about any given situation. It’s an abuser’s philosophy, or a doormat’s.
I think Awarness of ignorance should have been included
Great article! and so applicable for absolutely everybody. With all these articles and rants about the global elite, it’s refreshing to understand that we are in control of ourselves. I’ve always believed attitude and positivity was the key to a better world, but I could never have worded it this well.
Cheers, peace, and love.
Not all criticism is based in your own shortcomings. I believe it is very much a good thing to criticise when someone or something in society is hurting people. It is activism for positive change… otherwise a good and inspiring article.
think in what you just read and enjoy , if you feel the need to advertise your homossexuel or non beliver on a higher power or beliver, great , but enjoy . i’ve got nothing to do with your personal choises . enjoy life my friends…
correct, but the part of thanking god. It does not exist.
Lelo, it would be nice if you said “Does not HAVE to exist”. For many of us, god exists in every thing we see in this world. It doesn’t have to mean an almighty voice in the sky deciding what happens. For some of us god just symbolizes a spiritual identity, one that can include a “god” or anything else a person believes in or feels connected too. The point of the article was to be open-minded and accept others, not find the one flaw that YOU personally dislike. Comments like that make me sad because I feel like people miss the most important aspects of the article and remain focused only on negativity.
starting now, thank you!
I’m sorry but I would rather be right than be kind. It is this “kindness over righteousness” philosophy that breeds internal anger to such a point that it explodes into a bombshell of negativity in the long run.
Thank you for this article that reminds us. I’m gonna print it out.
And thank you people for your funny reactions. Must say that I, like many of us, struggled with the word “god” for I was brought up in a catholic kind of way but it also felt very restrictive and indeed “the guy above” kind of feeling. Anyway, any word to discribe the one-energy would work for me except for religion related words, but those words don’t bother me anymore because I choose to. And yes, to me it feels that the author is just talking about the power of being thankfull!!
And you guys who struggle the most with this word, please do read the article again.
As beautiful and useful as this is, I am troubled by the recurring advice by multiple sources to rid oneself of “grumpy” or “pessimistic” people. I get what they are saying and in the end this IS about self improvement. But instead of heeding the advice not to judge or criticise it appears people should abandon friends and family for not being happy or “positive” all the time. Even though we ourselves should be realistic it seems that this perpetuates the selfishness and judgement of a culture that is sick with the problem.
I loved the article and even though i fall short …….i do attempt to practice these principles and……………. i feel as i get older i am improving daily!
A lot of the “positivity” movement is built around shaming and ostracizing people with anxiety or depression and trying to convince them that they are unworthy human beings.
God is love and love is God. We all feel Love.
“Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to.”
Only good advice for the self-loathing and those who want to turn others into doormats.