10 Excellent Reasons to Attack Iran

By leading anti-war activist David Swanson, author of Day Break and War Is A Lie, who runs the websites DavidSwanson.org and WarIsACrime.org.

1. Iran has threatened to fight back if attacked, and that’s a war crime. War crimes must be punished.

2. My television says Iran has nukes. I’m sure it’s true this time. Just like with North Korea. I’m sure they’re next. We only bomb places that really truly have nukes and are in the Axis of Evil. Except Iraq, which was different.

3. Iraq didn’t go so badly. Considering how lousy its government is, the place is better off with so many people having left or died. Really, that one couldn’t have worked out better if we’d planned it.

4. When we threaten to cut off Iran’s oil, Iran threatens to cut off Iran’s oil, which is absolutely intolerable. What would we do without that oil? And what good is buying it if they want to sell it?

5. Iran was secretly behind 9-11. I read it online. And if it wasn’t, that’s worse. Iran hasn’t attacked another nation in centuries, which means its next attack is guaranteed to be coming very soon.

6. Iranians are religious nuts, unlike Israelis and Americans. Most Israelis don’t want to attack Iran, but the Holy Israeli government does. To oppose that decision would be to sin against God.

7. Iranians are so stupid that when we murder their scientists they try to hire a car dealer in Texas to hire a drug gang in Mexico to murder a Saudi ambassador in Washington, and then they don’t do it — just to make us look bad for catching them.

7. b. Oh, and stupid people should be bombed. They’re not civilized.

8. War is good for the U.S. economy, and the Iranian economy too. Troops stationed in Iran would buy stuff. And women who survived the war would have more rights. Like in Virginia. We owe Iranians this after that little mishap in 1953.

9. This is the only way to unite the region. Either we bomb Iran and it swears its eternal love to us. Or, if necessary, we occupy Iran to liberate it like its neighbors. Which shouldn’t take long. Look how well Afghanistan is going already.

10. They won’t give our drone back. Enough said.

This article was originally published on Washington’s Blog.

Trending on the Web
.

63 Responses to "10 Excellent Reasons to Attack Iran"

  1. Patrick Diehl  February 23, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Hey, this is great. I’d like to repost it at my blog, “What’s the Diehl?,” if that’s okay with you. Whaddaya say? Please and thanks.

    Reply
  2. Reubenz  February 23, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    also, they hate your freedom! in fact, they hate everything you love. do you hate freedom? then they love it!

    Reply
  3. Wow  February 23, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Cool article!

    Reply
  4. Loren Cole  February 23, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Maybe we should just have OUR religious fanatics fight it out with THEIR religious fanatics.
    The rest of us would probably get along just fine.

    Reply
    • Sex Machine  February 24, 2012 at 9:32 am

      Thanx finally a logical comment. this article is shit.
      the people who like it are shit. honestly i could rant on
      forever. Also our politicians and theirs should also kill
      each other. then the world would be closer to attaining peace.

    • fred  February 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm

      Difference is WE have way more fanatics of a couple religions.

  5. Wow  February 23, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    Awesome article!

    Reply
  6. mrashid  February 23, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    cool, fit hai

    Reply
  7. Foo  February 24, 2012 at 9:59 am

    great satire :)

    Reply
  8. Pingback: Criza din Iran - Page 57

  9. sunny  February 24, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    And Iran is planning to plan an attack on US same as 9/11 :p

    Reply
  10. tannaberton abacrombie  February 24, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    As sarcastic as some of this may sound, I know there are people who would think several are serious enough to knock off a quarter million people.
    It has been done for less.
    None of the things attributed to the evil and most vile of the last century exceed what has been done by freedom loving American agents in the last ten years.
    We are not sure of the death count because everyone who can count is dead.

    Reply
  11. Eric-Gunther:Oberhauser  February 24, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    And whatever the communist STATE of israel wants, israel gets. Especially when America is paying for it. I think to attack the communist STATE of israel is in the worlds best interest.

    Reply
  12. AJ  February 24, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    11. Iranians are mean! and mean people need to be taught a lesson.
    12. They hate us because of our freedoms so they need to be taught a lesson.
    13. Some of the Iranians are…..well…..ugly.
    14. They are friends with Venezula.
    15. They call our government a bunch of liars….

    This list could go on and on……….

    Reply
    • Ken  February 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

      Well, lets see… vizaviz #15: “They call our government a bunch of liars..” The truth hurts doesnt it?

  13. AJ  February 24, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    What? Our government……liars……They wouldn’t lie, would they?

    Reply
  14. Echo  February 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    I’m all for war again. Football season is over. There is nothing on TV to watch except basketball and I get to wave my flag again.

    Reply
  15. JOHNNY BARTEE  February 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    I suppose this is intended to be amusing. I’m not amused. This is too serious to piss around joking about it.

    Reply
    • Philistine  February 24, 2012 at 8:23 pm

      Enjoy your humorless and ever-serious existence. Be aware that you are the dungeon master. No complaints about life, your filters are stuck on miserable.

    • Dan  February 24, 2012 at 8:38 pm

      For Philistine. There is nothing wrong with taking a subject as serious as this with the serious it deserves. As to the article itself, just more anti American garbage. I am not totally happy with our leadership but the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is still the best place to be. It, as always, protects the freedoms of everyone and stands for its friends, like Israel, when crazy rag heads who want a bomb decide they are going to use it for nothing more than to destroy. But that is what the arabs are all about; destroying. It is what their radical religion teaches them is right. The author of the above article needs to pull his head out of the desert sand and look at the truth instead of making up little anti American dities.

    • Arminius  February 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

      Dan, you are a brainwashed fool!
      Stop watching Fox Noise!

    • Philistine  February 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      Dan,

      Number of countries bombed or invaded by “freedom land USA” in the last decade or so… At least 3 if you count Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya as the major ones. Much more if you bother to notice our moves lately into Africa.

      Number of countries bombed, or invaded by Iran… zero.

      I love USA. I love the constitution. I do not, however, love the war machine that we feed our babies to, nor the bankers that run off with our trillions and never face jail, nor the ever growing police state you call Freedom where fresh milk is policed and the bankers run off with trillions, where cameras exist on every corner, where the NSA is recording every word I type almost in real time, where I cannot have an opinion contrary to my neighbor without fear of being turned in to DHS with “see something say something”, where I cannot post up too many patriotic pictures on Facebook without being pulled in by the Patriot Act like we live in Soviet times.

      So another war, this time with Russia and China potentially, with many thousands of dead Iranians certainly, and with our boys and girls in harms way for a banker’s greed… I oppose.

  16. jon  February 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    They’re just jealous of our corrupt government. They hate us for our police state.

    Reply
    • Dan  February 24, 2012 at 8:42 pm

      Seriously??? A police state? Have you ever really lived in one? We are not one yet. It could happen,,,,,,, someday. But right now we have any freedoms that others can only dream of. Your unsubstantiated claim that we are a police state is bebasing to everything that free Americans stand for. Stop bitching and blowing off a lot of crap that you know nothing about. If you do not like America as it is get off your ass and make a change. But no, your ilk would rather just sound stupid in some meaningless forum such as this.

    • Arminius  February 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

      Dan is all mouth, I bet he has never been to another country.

    • Padre of Lakeland  February 25, 2012 at 4:16 pm

      Dan should do his job with TSA instead of posting online during work. But when you live in a crappy little apartment, riding back and forth to the airport on your moped for your daily grind of groping genitals and watching porn, you got to make your voice heard.
      Then there are the inevitable losses: your best friend at BART goes to jail for two years for shooting an unarmed man in the back while he’s held face down on the floor. I mean really, he should have got off like the rest of them.
      After all, there’s no police brutality anywhere in the world and all you have to do to confirm it is ask the police. They wouldn’t lie about a thing like that. No policeman (or member of the military) would lie to cover up criminal activity, that’s just crazy.
      So don’t blame Dan; hes just another imbiber of the government’s kool-aid.

  17. Joe Krill  February 24, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    We must always remember that IRAN spelled backward is NARI, which in Japanese means “Gentle Child”. WE must not have any gentle children!

    Reply
  18. Firestone91  February 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Attacking iran means attacking china, we must remember that, but china owns us anyway, so we always have to ask our owner if its ok to do something, but this article can’t be taken seriously right..??? cuz if u r serious, you sound like an american who wants communism, and war, sickening if ur not joking!!

    Reply
  19. rockclimber  February 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    God’s “chosen” brats said so, therefore it must be so and the whacky Christian Zionist cult agrees.

    (“chosen” for what exactly?)

    Reply
    • Arminius  February 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

      God told me I could have Hawaii.
      Everyone there needs to move ASAP!

  20. little guy  February 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    The “Anti-War” movement is a farce…it is, in reality, a control matrix (controlled opposition) of the New World Order.

    Ron Paul is totally anti-war…yet the “leaders” of the “Anti-War” movement do not support, or indorse Ron Paul’s candidacy!!!

    The “Anti-WAr” movement is a shame…there is no Anti-War movement.

    Reply
  21. Pingback: Orgone and Zappers. | CTBusters - We give a flip.CTBusters

  22. profnasty  February 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    The sad part: I think this article is completely accurate.
    And, unfortunately, I am always right.

    Reply
  23. joe7000  February 24, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Great reasons for attacking Iran!

    May I add one more? Okay, I will:

    11. How can our Military/Corporate Complex, in conjunction with Israel’s Military/Corporate Complex make money if they don’t bomb someone? Manufacturers who don’t sell their products die and buyers must use them so they can be replenished for bigger and better conquests: Yup, Iran must go!

    Reply
  24. joe7000  February 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    …by the way, if I was God I’d sprinkle a trillion-trillion dollars all over planet earth so people wouldn’t kill each other over money problems.

    Do I hear an AMEN?!

    Reply
    • Beepbop  February 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      That wouldn’t work at all… You don’t understand the money junkies. They have more money than they could ever use, they just aren’t happy having more than enough. They need everyone else to be poor in order to feel good. Other than that, we also need an entire change in the monetary system. The current system mathematically ends up with the entities issuing the money (as a loan) eventually owning EVERYTHING, and still has more debt for the rest to pay back (slavery anyone?)

  25. R. Ferguson  February 24, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    How about this .We exchange our Chosen People for the Palestinian People,even steven.Then build a huge wall around Israel.Problem solved.Plus we will throw in all the bankster and all the big shots in the M I C and CEO making the profits on WAR and all the other shyster.Good start?

    Reply
  26. Steve Wiseman  February 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    13. The Iranians need our guidance and love…and our Central Banks..the IMF and the World Bank…NATO…and we need their oil

    14. Ahmadinejad was always coming over hear and tell us things we didn’t want to hear..stirring up trouble..telling stuff that was not in our newpapers…on TV..in our movies…what a nerve…

    15. Haliburton needs the business as do Blackadder…Smake bite and all the other private companies …

    16. Everyone needs our democracy…a Bush, a Clinton, an Obama..a FDR a Wilson and all those other guys who made this world so wise and wonderful…

    17. Israel needs the space to create a Greater Israel from the Nile to the Mississippi and beyond…3/4 of the world is not enough..

    18. It the Christian thing to do..What is better than a good Crusade?

    19. We have to bomb them because they rejected the revolution we tried to give them in 2004…and that we gave them in 1953…and they rejected our Shah of Iran…ungrateful…

    20. We made Iraq and Libya and Korea and Palestine and Lebanon…so much better…ungrateful Iran…they must be taught a lesson…

    21. I’s how we solve problems..just ask Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Cochise, Geronimo, Dresden..Berlin…and 715 other Germam Cities..Hiroshima…Dresden..Korea..all of Central America..most Africa…Vietnam…Yugoslavia…Libya..Iraq,,Afghanistan…Haiti,,
    Rwanda…Palestine..Laos…Cambodia…Sudan..Somolia…

    Reply
  27. Pingback: 10 Excellent Reasons to Attack Iran #mockery | CounterPsyOps

  28. Mr. Seriouspants  February 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    Don’t forget the female ninjas! Can you imagine the devastation released on the world if those female ninjas were let loose?

    Reply
  29. Sir Oscar Whiskey  February 24, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    Iran is a negative influence in the region.

    Iran has 30 years of sanctions but still managed to create jobs in their science and technology fields for their citizens in their own country. Secondly Iran is developing not only nuclear technology but also solar technology, they already have our oil now they want our atoms and our Sun. Thats just greedy. Iranians are greedy.

    Whats even more troubling is other nations in the region might start thinking that sanctions work better for developing nations. Thats just a lie. Its an attack on the caste system itself.

    And finally ask yourself this, “who would al Qaeda support?” did al Qaeda support Col. Gadaffi? Is al Qaeda supporting al Assad in Syria? Of course not al Qaeda is supporting us because they are our long time ally in the region, except for that terrorism issue on September 11th 2001 but we know the Iranians were behind it, so were the N. Koreans, Syrians, Libyans, Palestinians, Mexicans (living in and around Arizona) and Tsar Putin, who would you side with al Qaeda or the terrorists?

    Reply
  30. Ian  February 24, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    And the ultimate sin… They won’t accept the IMF as their lord and savior

    Reply
  31. Bob in Philly  February 24, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Make sure to add:

    Iran will attack the US and its allies with all the weapons systems the Shah of Iran bought at the urging of the US during his 25 plus year reign as installed dictator.

    Reply
  32. Lane Murrah  February 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    How many of those commenting have actually been to IRAN? I had pleasure of visiting for 2.5 weeks in 2008. The average citizens are wonderful people; kind, hospitable, friendly, generous, intelligent, very family-focused. Only the leadership is really wacky, but, of course, we don’t have ANY kooks in our US state or federal governments. Instead of berating Iranians and country of Iran, suggest spending time reading about their amazing culture and history & also watch Rick Steves’ PBS documentary on the country. There is plenty of good & honest (non Israeli/Zionist-controlled) information via the world wide Internet.

    Reply
  33. Pingback: 10 excellent reasons to attack Iran - Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Conservatives, Liberals, Third Parties, Left-Wing, Right-Wing, Congress, President - City-Data Forum

  34. Matthias  February 25, 2012 at 12:38 am

    ^Because people like you let me make this very clear:

    I think we oversaw 2 crucial points:
    22)If Iran is making nuclear weapons they would officially be part of the ‘nuclear club’. This is unallowable because this would make them more equal and all divided power means less power for us. Also it would be a direct violation of a treaty they signed which states only countries that produced nuclear weapons before 1968 still have the right to have them.
    23)We’re already working hard for over 40 years to get rid of our warheads, with now only the last 22,000 left. And now Iran is going to produce new ones?? Geez so counterproductive…

    Reply
    • Matthias  February 25, 2012 at 12:40 am

      sorry the ” didn’t came through apparently, must have processed it as HTML :p

  35. Dennis White  February 25, 2012 at 2:44 am

    BRILLIANT. You’ve bundled everything and are now a candidate for
    super savings in some near future. TY

    Reply
  36. Sharon Silva  February 25, 2012 at 4:51 am

    “Like in Virginia.” That was a good one!

    Reply
  37. virginia jarvis  February 25, 2012 at 5:24 am

    Ya just gotta know the pols already got the next war all planned out.
    Which ship are they going to sink in the disputed waters off of the coast in order to create another false flag operation? The 911 airship attacks were a new twist on an old method of creating war.

    Is this the sort of world WE really want?

    Reply
  38. Brent  February 25, 2012 at 7:28 am

    How the FUK can you joke about killing civilians and others of Iran and likely 100’s of thousands if not millions of Americans?? You’re really a stupid, vile, annoying, obnoxious sob. Why don’t you kill yourself and make me HAPPY you puke!

    Reply
  39. Pingback: 10 Excellent Reasons to Attack Iran

  40. PaganOne  February 26, 2012 at 12:29 am

    An attack on Iran will lead to the deaths of millions and millions of people due to the increase in petroleum which directly effects food prices . Iran has stated in the event of an attack it will close the straights of Hormuz, the flow on from this will effect the quality of living of every man women and child on this planet . Whichever country attacks will be causing a Holocaust on a massive scale, I find it ironic that if Iran is attacked it will probably be Israel that causes this “Holocaust” there is no logical justification for any country to attack Iran all the reasons I have heard are asinine at best .

    Reply
  41. Jin  February 27, 2012 at 5:20 am

    According to radio show host Michael Savage, we have to preemptive strike Iran as soon as possible, otherwise, Hezbollah terrorists will be all over United States to attack us!

    Reply
    • rockclimber  February 27, 2012 at 4:22 pm

      Hah, change everything Savage Weener said to Israel and Jew economic terrorists but oh, wait that’s already happening LOL

  42. Padre of Lakeland  February 27, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Strangely enough, Iran’s Bank is one of the few left in the world NOT run by the Rothschilds. There was one in Afghanistan, gone after we (US) attacked without provocation. There was one in Iraq, same story. Libya too. Each one attacked after being demonized in the Press.

    Follow the money……

    Reply
  43. Padre of Lakeland  February 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    There is only one country in the world that has won a nuclear war (a war that ended with the use of nuclear weapons). That country deliberately attacked (through Acts of War) another without declaration of war, and then beat their breasts and claimed an act of unprovoked aggression when they retaliated. Further, now that the files SEALED for fifty years AFTER the war have been revealed we know that the FEDS were more than aware of the coming attack.

    They say that failure to learn from history causes its repetition. Its not repetition when you’re following ESTABLISHED GUIDELINES.

    Now the children of those same bas***ds are doing it all over again.

    Criminals have been in charge of this country since the turn of the last century. [Well, honestly, most countries. Its amazing that, through elections, you can turn an honest man crooked while the crooked ones just appreciate joining the club…..]

    We can fix things. We need a beginning, I know a good one. To paraphrase the Bard, “First we kill all the lawyers…..”.

    Reply
  44. Joe Krill  February 27, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Who is Michael Savage/Weener?

    Reply
    • Jin  February 27, 2012 at 10:57 pm

      Reply to Joe Krill,

      Mainstream media radio host Rabbi Michael Weiner AKA Michael Savage. His calling for preemptive strike against Iran speech can be watched in a 3 minutes video at http://www.prothink.org and http://www.jbcampbellextremismoline.com.

    • Joe Krill  February 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

      Jin, Thank you. I should have googled it. I do not listen to much mainstream radio, mostly classical as a background while working. Once again, Thanks. Joe Krill

  45. Pingback: Scott Rodgers (scottrodgers) | Pearltrees

  46. Formamikee  March 8, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Sarcasm is great, of course, but I’m so tired of all this shit (I Mean all these idle talks)!Sometimes it seems to me that indignation or a sneer is all that we can do! War, terrorists, enemies… it’s interesting, what ordinary Americans and Russians (or Iranians) will do if war begins between the USA and Russia (or Iran) (Usa will win, OK.) It’s terrible!!! WHY? What for?
    P.S. My skills of English are not enough to discuss such matters… I’m going to raise the level))) LoL)) See ya later))

    Reply
  47. Formamikee  March 8, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    follow the money… that is the truth… and I feel sick…ugh

    Reply

Leave a Reply